Suffering from drastic insecurities - dont have a sense of myself, i lack the belief that that i am fundementally alright, think i still see my flaws and faults far too easily. my strengths seem small, as though looking from a far distance. And there's this sense of 'there is something wrong with me' (a pattern of internallized harsh self criticism).
I am not comfortable with myself and feel this tremendous push to prove myself. (to whom and for what? to those around me and for a sense of worth). I know i will not be happy even if i did 'prove myself' to be better, stronger and smarter than those around me because that falls short of humility and attitude of service which i want as an a personal ethic.
Doesn't help that everyone around seems so accomplished. Confidence is slowly approaching crisis. Must remember not to judge by outward appearances.
I am not comfortable with myself - my flaws and my strengths with my sins and my gifts i am not comfortable being me and knowing that i am loved but i want to be.
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