wrote this quite some time ago... will post this as a reminder
i haven't blogged in a really long time because no heart clarity for some time now already.
His answers to my doubts:
I know what kind of God He is. I know Him. and that He's mightier, lovelyier, more gracious, more glorious than what i think He is. and because I know Him, and what Kind of God He is, I know my life will be filled with His glory. i know that my life will not remain as it is.
it dosent depend on the times and seasons of miracles. and it dosent depend on me. it depends on who.
Who He is and i speak with Him and live with Him He is my God of miracles and my life has changed irreversibly.
Like moses who stood on the mount and said: LORD, show me Your Glory, O like him I say Lord, show me who you are and what you are like. show me your glory!
What i really really really want to do with my life:
1. play music
when i get to heaven the first thing i recon i'd do after meeting Jesus is go straight to heaven's music music school to learn to play every instrument there is. want to play the songs in my heart : - every note and chord i hear in my mind with any and every instrument unto Him.
lord teach me keyboards and how to use my electric guitar want to learn: scales on the guitar and basic keyboard...
2. preach the gospel
i already have nothing to live for in this life apart from Him.
i feel like i am already poor to the poorest, bare to the bones, and have nothing to lose.
if i live this life and never tell anyone about Him, my heart will be dissatisfied. my life will be just frustrated meaninglessness.
i want to tell people about Jesus and that He loves us that he loves me and that he would love others too, if they would hear and listen to the good news.
