Free

 'you are free to do whatever you please.' Felt like God said these words to my heart earlier.

'no more slaves but Sons, free as Sons to discover for ourselves what is right and good.'

you don't have to serve me, you don't have to work for me, you are still my son still by beloved, I will still sanctify you and glorify myself in you.

feel as though it is a season to rediscover His grace and goodness and to stop the preaching and teaching and evangelizing. these will come as a spontaneous result of telling people How good a God Jesus is and in the overflow of His love.

A result of the re-discovery of His goodness, not just out of the terrible drudgery of duty.

I wonder how much of my wanting to be a minister stems from self - to be working 'for me', if God would call me it would be for His own glory it would Be Him working for His own glory through me.  the I is totally incidental. it could be anyone else.

and what a poor vessel too! little I can do indeed i feel so miserably poor in talent, in wisdom in energy capabilities, what can i offer God? only to trust Him completely to do His work.

IF God would still bless me whever i was whatever i was doing, would i still want to work to become a minister? If i didnt have to save souls, would i still want to? yes i would still desire it but I'd rather it be a joy of love for the Savior out of relationship and thankfulness to Him, not out of drudgery to preach.

Would i still love people because I have true love, true compassion in my heart? Have i been touched or sufficiently filled with God's love to have compassion for others?

do we struggle in the ministry to think we can earn God's favour, to create Godly character, to save souls, to ready overselves with right doctrine so that we may gain the favor of man and a good living, thinking we have power, or are we totally trusting God to do all, or I we do it out of pure desire for God?

what I really want 'what i please' is to enjoy God's presence, to love my wife, to do good, to live to honor God for from Him have come salvation, from Him have come all that I have.